in heaven with Diana

by rawclyde!

~

Here in Heaven it is Sunday morning and time to go to Church.  The front door is open. Outside the birds are chirping and the bells are ringing.  I am wearing my grey top hat and dressed swank on the edge of the couch ~ waiting for Diana.  We’ve been married for about half a year.  It’s absolutely ridiculous how happy we are.

She twirls into the living room and stands in front of me.  She loves to stand in front of me when I’m sitting down ~ especially when she’s naked.  I love it too because she’s beautiful and she’s my wife.  But why is she naked now?  And what is that on top of her head?

“I’m ready,” she says.

“You’re naked,” says I.  “How can you be ready when you’re naked?”  I’m looking up at her pretty startled.  The contraption draped over her head has eyes and claws and lots of fur.  It looks like the skin of a wild raccoon.  “And what’s that on top of your head?”

“Uncle Davy gave me this.  C’mon.  Let’s go.”  She lifts my hand in her very warm one and in her gentle way pulls me up off the couch and toward the door.

“Hold it!” I protest as I abruptly stop in my tracks.  I shut the door, accidentally slamming it.  Obviously I’m losing my cool and on the verge of causing a scene, which doesn’t really matter because we’re home alone.  We’re still holding hands.

Thank God we’re holding hands.  But are we going to make it to Church this morning?  Diana’s point-blank emerald eyes are killing me.  She raises one smooth shoulder like it is the “good morning” sun ~ a few inches from my chin.  Meanwhile my knees are beginning to wobble and I am on the verge of kneeling before we even get to Church!

Jesus Christ have mercy…

~

~

So here stand Diana and I holding hands in the living room on Sunday morning.  Our house is not on planet Earth.  Our house is in Heaven.  And our honeymoon is endless.

“Now, baby, now,” whimper I to my Diana.  She’s my beautiful wife.  And I am so lucky ~ oops, I mean blessed!  I say to her, “You gotta put on a dress if we’re going to Church today.”

“We’re in Heaven, Clyde,” says Diana.  “We can go to Church naked if we want.”  I almost believe her.  The way she is holding my hand, the way the green green grass of home ricochets in her eyes, the way her sacred body emits its glow and warmth ~ all this, everything in the universe, tells me to believe her.

My knees are more and more wobbly.  I have a bottomless craving to kneel before we even get to Church.  Jesus please have mercy on my soul.  I want to kneel in front of my wife!  “C’mon, Diana, please.  Please go put on a dress.  We’re going to be late.”

I am dressed swank ~ really swank.  I’m even wearing my grey top hat.  I am ready for Church.  But Diana ~ my long legged, green eye-ed darling…

“Why? Why, Diana?  Why are you doing this?”

She’s not totally naked.  She’s got the pelt of a raccoon draped over her head.  Something her Uncle Davy gave her.  It’s paws hang down to either side a bit past her neck, intimate pals with her gold-streaked hair.  If they hung down any further their claws would be resting upon her delightfully elongated boom booms.  She shrugs in reply to my exasperated questioning.  And my wife says, “I am a forest priestess.  What do you expect?  Look into my eyes.”  She steps closer than she already is and, with her breezy breath fanning my inflamed face, whispers, “Look deep.”

The head of the raccoon pelt, its nose sticking out a little over Diana’s forehead, its little marble eyes staring off into space, is perched up there like a baseball cap.  But forget that furry thing!

I lose myself in Diana’s cathedral windows.  A point-blank reflection of Heaven is in there.  She let’s go my hand and her fingernails etch a trail up my sleeve.  She rests the fingertips of her magic hands on the tops of my ears.  Like I’m a steering wheel.

I kneel.

 ~

text copyright clyde collins 2017

from old timer chronicle

https://oldtimerchronicle.wordpress.com/2013/02/16/in-heaven-with-diana

https://oldtimerchronicle.wordpress.com/2013/02/25/in-heaven-with-diana-ii-2

photo courtesy of fashion tadpole:

http://fashiontadpole.blogspot.com/2010/04/davy-crockett.html

art courtesy of krystleyez:

http://krystleyez.com

~

paragon

~

DAVY CROCKETT REINCARNATED

ROOMS WITH A RATTLESNAKE

by Cloyd Campfire 2002

~

The desert was a-crunch with distance & thorny miracles when Davy Crockett Reincarnated unintentionally sunk his wheels into a dry wash.

Next, he went a-drift looking for any tools nature might provide & cracked his head in a deep hole. Dazed, he built a roof on the hole & now had his very own kiva & a new home – alleluia!

A new stage in his life had begun.

All the critters on that particular slope some months ago had dug-up themselves a leader – the desert squirrel, Yahtzee. Yahtzee declared peace & nobody ate anybody else anymore & low n’ behold, manna had been falling from the crystalline sky ever since.

This particular slope of rocky ravines & colorful views, for Crockett, was heaven ~ but then a rattlesnake full of hell dropped down into his earthical room & declared the both of them to be ~

Roommates.

The snake, whose name was Paragon, was a fair-minded roomie, but told Davy he’d spent some time in the pen & warned him that he, Paragon, wasn’t past biting someone’s eyes out in the middle of the night if crossed.

I got a real nice critter on my hands, sardonically mused Davy to himself & turned over to go to sleep.

But over in the lower corner, scaly Paragon wouldn’t stop rattling. He couldn’t help it. His tail had emphysema, which, in denial, he referred to as “bronchitis”. Incidentally, Paragon was also being tested for diabetes & ate 10 tons of sugar every night. But that’s beside the point we’re trying to get at here.

Later as Davy was dozing off, suddenly, Paragon was standing on the tip of his rattler & towering over him, declaring, “Democracy doesn’t work!”

Roused, Davy hollered, “Get out of my face! I’m trying to sleep!”

Bitterly, Paragon stalked back to the lower corner and continued to thunderously rattle thru the nocturnal hours.

As the world turned & the desert whispered its endless beatitudes, Paragon informed Davy, & re-informed him day after day, that just about all the other critters around weren’t doing their duties & were constantly brown-nosing Yahtzee, while he, Paragon, was the only one who was worth a 10-dollar blanket. “And there’s gonna be race wars in this country before you and I are dead!” he added one evening.

Paragon didn’t approve of Davy’s ways either, & continuously whittled away at him too. One afternoon when they were both sneaking a quick nap after a bite of manna, for example, Paragon whittled, “I doubt you can work a full day.”

Davy winced and quoted, “Our doubts are traitors and makes us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

“What?” hissed the snake.

“That’s a quote from Measure For Measure by Shakespeare,” grinned Davy.

“And I’m an elf owl’s uncle,” spat Paragon. His venom soaked into the earthen floor as he slithered up the ladder, disappeared in the blazing light outside and went back to work.

After several weeks, the fortress walls of Crockett’s peace of mind were completely whittled down, & all the eternal frontiersman could think about was how hard it was not to hate his roomie, the incorrigible rattlesnake who possessed, it seemed, a colossus contempt for all critters other than himself.

Then, one morning Davy burned the beans. “Oops,” he muttered, exhausted after another night of electric jolts in his head caused by Paragon’s miserable rattle.

“Everything you do is wrong,” hissed the snake.

“And everything you do is right, so who cares?” groaned Davy. He stirred the mess in the pot & thought & finally aimed & shot, “You know, Paragon, when a critter believes he’s better than everybody else around him, I’d say that makes him the most low-down of all.”

Paragon blinked once or twice after Crockett’s sly remark, & quit talking. For several weeks the snake didn’t say a word. Whenever he was in the Kiva, all he did was read. Which Crockett soon got used to & before long, he no longer hated Paragon. In fact, he was growing kind of fond of his scaly roommate who was always crawling around on his belly here, there and everywhere.

But something was brewing inside Paragon’s reptile head. And finally to Davy he said, “The difference between me and most everybody else around here is ~ I got integrity.” With that said, Paragon sprang out of the kiva that pretty red sky morning & complained to Yahtzee, the wise desert squirrel, about everything & everybody, & even threatened a couple coyotes, & came back & started packing his bags. He’d just gotten himself kicked out of the community.

Of course, there’s a moral to this tale ~ a little piece of wisdom that you can apply to your own stay in the transitional zone of Veterans Campus. And that moral is: if you don’t like the roommate you got now, don’t worry. Be happy. You’ll get along just fine, sooner or later, like Davy Crockett & Paragon did ~ Paragon, that poor old rattlesnake with the negative aura so thick around him that it was downright impossible for him to see through it.

“Paragon was hard-working & honest tho’,” added Davy, sitting cross-legged in his kiva & sipping coffee ~ as a few days later, yours truly was interviewing him.  Davy sat there quietly for a long moment.  Finally he concluded, “And, believe it or don’t, that rattlesnake did have some integrity.”

Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2002

~

across the swamp of time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~

by Rawclyde!

1980

~

Part One

~

I’m smokin’
jus’ jokin’
about the space before
the 1st cave man’s yawn.

I’m walkin’
jus’ stalkin’
the “time” before
the 1st early dawn.

I’m jus’ trippin’
now I’m slippin’
off the ski jump
of a dinosaur’s nose.

Now I’m fallin’
without stallin’
into the earliest space
where nothin’ comes or goes.

Time don’t flow
rhyme is slow
nobody’s here to receive
a “hello” nod.

I’m so alone
just a floatin’ stone
but I can feel
the shadow of God.

And here’s eternity
n’ here’s infinity
n’ here I am floatin’ in
the middle of their far out kiss.

But I’m not elated
nothin’s been created
just floatin’ in peace
with nothin’ to miss.

Yeeeap, nothin’ to miss
drifting in this kiss
the fricken’ Garden Of Eden
hasn’t even been made.

No planet in sight
there ain’t no light
no promises yet
promising sun or shade.

Just a sleeping God n’ me
oh so mellow n’ free
oh yes, and one more thing causes
this space to fit like a glove.

I’m still smokin’
but not really jokin’
’cause that one more thing,
my sweet thing, is your love…

~

~

Part Two

~

What’s below my feet
war on the concrete
ants fightin’ ants ’til
thousands die in misery?

Strip my soul
tickle my goal
yours truly is somersaulting
into ancient history.

It ain’t no bull
I’m Hannibal
riding on an elephant
I’m the highest general around.

I ride so high
the Alps do cry
n’ Roman soldiers bury
their heads in the ground.

I’m so unruly
’tis recorded truly
a mother’s baby is born
with an elephant’s head.

At Carthage, my home
I laugh all alone
when my war is lost n’
my people weep with dread.

The moon glows
the wind blows
I’m jus’ sittin’ in a room now
surrounded by the Middle Ages.

The noise outside
proves somethin’s died
unable to understand freedom
men forever are rattling their cages.

In the gloomy doom
of the smokey room
I’m a mad mad saint
concentrating on the Holy Truth.

The journey is far
to the inner star
finally I, Saint Augustine, smile
n’ you can see every tooth.

I whip out my pen
n’ do the world in
with prose n’ prose n’ prose
about my love for the Lord.

The book is complete
I creak to my feet
walk out the door n’ duck
the devil’s flashy sword.

An ant in a college
readin’ half-cooked knowledge
pinches a purple dream hello
n’ now I’m Clyde Collins on the road.

I’m jus’ smokin’ a cob
restin’ after a job
parked at a curb in El Paso when
love for those walkin’ by eases my load.

Sweet love without fail
attacks ‘gain in jail
when I plead for one glass of water
n’ a black man brings back three.

But it ain’t nothin’
next to your lovin’
n’ compared to the travel I travel
when lookin’ at the blue eyes of thee…

~

~

Part Three

~

The faucet is drippin’
the minutes are slippin’
as we sit here holding
each other’s hand.

Outside in the night
I hear traffic fight
and swear I feel like
the 1st cave man ~

Sittin’ before his fire
his brains climbing higher
’til suddenly he knows
his ancestors are the stars.

So you n’ I grow old
many futures unfold
oops, we’re dead now
buried with all our scars.

The earth is revolvin’
our bodies dissolvin’
time is somersaulting
itself into shreds.

We’re jus’ floatin’
our souls smokin’
pickin’ up debris n’
left-over threads.

We’re grinnin’ too
spinnin’ so true
two giant planets now
in an other realm farrrrrrr out.

We travel together
sharin’ our weather
our winds whisper love n’
storms celebrate with a shout.

Fields of grass grow
suns come n’ go
a blazing comet sweeps by
and oh my it is Jesus.

Stars are smokin’
angels are jokin’
a great cosmic gate unbolts
n’ thru it the comet leads us.

My head bows low
there’s too much glow
been runnin’ ‘cross the swamp of time
now I’m fallin’ outta my chair.

I’m done smokin’
my brain’s broken
heaven is heaven is oh heaven
n’ you sittin’ with me puts me ~ there!

~

Text Copyright Clyde Collins 1980, 2010, 2017

~

love is insanity & i’m insane

by Rawclyde!

1980

~

The sun’s going down

I’m feeling high

driving up El Cajon Boulevard

I’m in the best

truck this city’s ever seen

purple, faded, old & chipped

& I got a cigar in my mouth

puffin’ away

the red lights blink

the traffic sings

~

~

Yeah

there’s a little boy

walkin’ on the sidewalk

with a bubble around his head

here comes a little girl

pops the bubble with a pin

& she says to him

~

“Love is insanity & I’m insane”

~

~

Yeah

there between two buildings

crawls an old woman on her knees

with a piece of fish in her hand

she’s chasing a cat

   cackling at the cat

~

“Love is insanity & I’m insane”

~

~

Hmm

there’s two girls and a guy

sittin’ on a wall

all three smoking cigarettes

the two girls talk to each other

as the guy silently sits by himself

  blowing smoke rings that signal

~

“Love is insanity & I’m insane”

~

~

Well well

an old man in a Cadillac

just stopped to pick up a

hitch-hiking  junior-high-school girl

she won’t get in

the old man pulls a knife

she pulls a gun

a cop rolls by &

they both start to run

on his radio

the cop calls the chief to tell him

~

“Chief

love is insanity & I’m insane”

~

The cop cruises along

finds a girl in a bathrobe

crossing the street

He finds out she’s escaped

from a hospital she thinks

she doesn’t belong at

he tells her “You got to go back”

& she replies

~

“Lord

love is insanity & I’m insane!”

~

~

On El Cajon Boulevard

life rolls on

Some of these people don’t even know

their sanity is gone

~

~

Now here comes

a public health nurse

foaming at the mouth &

throwing water balloons at

billboards

she’s

got a whole wheel-barrel

full of water balloons

& a nest full of baby sparrows

in her hair

the

tiny birds chirp madly

~

“Love is insanity & this nurse

doesn’t know she’s insane!”

~

I’ll bet you

this darlin’ goes home

crawls into her lab

puts love on the table

gives it a stab

cuts it to pieces

trying to figure it out

but all she gets is a dead frog

with its guts spread all about

oh I bet

it’s hard on her brain

trying to stay normal & plain

when each piece of gut

whispers to her soul

~

“Love is insanity & you’re insane!”

~

~

Little girls smile

dogs wag their tales

I live in an old slow truck

& my brothers are snails

I’m driving along all alone

on this boulevard of charm

looking for the ride-seeking thumb

on any hitch-hiking arm

I don’t want to get too righteous

but I can’t refrain

~

“Love is insanity & I’m insane”

~

~

text from

For The Queen Of My Buffalos

an out-of-print book by Rawclyde!

( copyright Clyde Collins 1980 )

~